The Things I Gotta Tell Him
by Miyuki AngeL X
Summary: Yami leaves on a business trip for a few days leaving Yugi in charge as pharaoh. However, with Shadi having to "baby-sit" Yugi, things are not so bad? Or are they?
1. Guess Who's In Charge?

(First of all, this story is not to copy Fox Spirit-chan's story "Rishid where do babies come from?" There are some similarities but if you read into the characters carefully, then you'll find a lot of differences. If you guys get offended, I apologize.)

Brief Summary: These are the stories in the days of Shadi in his own words. More like he's telling you guys the story.

****

Guess Who's In Charge:

_6:22 am_

"Yami!" Yugi was in the pharaoh's room, tugging on Yami's pants. It was a typical Saturday morning in Domino City.

"What do you want Yugi?" Yami was fixing his hair.

"Where you going?" Yugi looked up at him childishly.

"Well, it's none of your business." Yami packed his clothes in his luggage. "But I'm going on a business trip for a few days." he then picked up his bag. "Help me with my baggage, will you."

_La-di-dah pharaoh_, I fumed as I took out a container of Oxy-Cleaner and a scrub brush. This is not how I want to spend my frickin Saturday! But what's the use? Ever since Yami took my millennium key, I'm left powerless and have been forced to bow down to the pharaoh.

I'll get my revenge soon. Damn you pharaoh.

scrub scrub-

O.O? Huh? Why are the damn tiles so muddy?

(Flashback to three days ago)

It was a rainy day and the pharaoh and Yugi returned from Seto Kaiba's party. Rich bastard. In the dead of the night at 11:20, I'm sitting in the kitchen eating Frosted Flakes.

Hey kids, let me tell you a secret…they're not that great. The damn tiger is screwing us all.

"Hey SHADI!"

_Oh no. Please Ra, for the sake of my insanity, please don't let it be… _

Before I could finish praying, Yugi comes running in with shoes muddy beyond recognition.

(End of Flashback)

_Why won't the dirt come off? _**Argh**! In a fit of rage, I tossed the scrub brush and took out the next best thing: the toothbrush.

"SHADI!" Another irritating voice shouts out. Yup, you guessed it. The pharaoh._What the hell do you want?_ I wanted to shout out.

Sigh-

The things I do for a living. I quickly drop the toothbrush and ran towards the living room, seeing Yami and his equally, annoying, clone aibou Yugi.

…

"What?"

"Shadi," Yami picked up his luggage. "I'm gonna be away for a few days."

"So I see." I replied calmly._ Good for you! And this time, don't come back!_ "Is there anything you wish for me to while you're gone pharaoh?"

_In other words, you want me to baby-sit that evil being?_ -cracks knuckles- _Yami no Marik, you must be laughing from the Shadow Realm, are you? _

Suddenly, the pharaoh's voice broke my thoughts. 

"As a matter of fact, there is something I want you to do while I'm gone. That's why I called you out here." he then turned to Yugi. "Yugi, I want you to be in charge while I'm gone."

_O.O You can't be serious! Not Yugi!_ -puts his hands on his ears- _Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala _

"Really?" I watch the little boy's eyes light up. "Woo-hoo!" he then began jumping up and down excitedly.

_Marik, you must be laughing now huh? Just because Rishid is alive and you're stuck in hell. _

"Shadi?" Yami gave me a glare.

"Yes my pharaoh?" _Try not to roll your eyes back Shadi. _

"I want you to keep an eye on Yugi while I'm gone." Suddenly, a horn sounded off. "Whoops, there's my ride!" He then rushed out the door without much of a goodbye.

_It's about time. One down, one more to go… _

_--_**AHEM-**

Huh? -Eyes shift to Yugi- _Evil! Evil! EVIL!_ "Yes Yugi?"

"That's Yugi-sama to you dog!"

_What did you just call me you evil runt?_ -prepares to strangle the boy- _No…no Shadi. Remember those visits with Dr. Mai…_

"I'm sorry Yugi-sama. What do you want?" _If only I had my millennium key._

"I want to go to Malik's house."

_You could've just asked you know? And while you're at it, why don't you move in with him?_ Ah yes, Malik is as equally annoying as Yugi. They're both dysfunctional, hyperactive, and if Rishid continues to deal with him, he's definitely gonna get an anxiety attack.

"Why do you wish to go to his house?"

"Well, what am I supposed to do when Yami's gone?" Yugi crossed his arms over his chest.

The things I have to do…


	2. The Birds, Bees, and Evil Things

****

The Birds, Bees, and Evil Things:

Yugi and I headed out to the garage after lunch in hopes of getting to Malik's house. Can't use the pharaoh's car mainly because he hid the keys and the fact that Yugi crashed the famous BMW into the tree.

Oh no…flashback…noo!

**(Two weeks ago)**

"This sucks big time!"

Me and Yugi were in the parking lot. That night, we just got out of the Carnival. "Why not? You rode every ride in the park twice."

Yugi plopped half of his cotton candy down his mouth. O.O wow…who knew a boy could eat so much. Then again, he did eat three jumbo hot dogs and two large sodas.

"It's just that Yami couldn't come." Yugi frowned.

_Well who cares you puny little runt?_ Ah yes, Yami's always busy sitting on his throne 24/7 ruling for no reason.

"Well…Yugi-sama. When you become pharaoh, you'll be too busy to do anything."

O.O…Uh-oh…gotta pee. But I don't wanna leave Yugi behind. Who knows what he'll do? And the carnival to Domino is four miles apart. Maybe he won't do something drastic for once. After all, Dr. Mai always tells me to give people a chance.

"Yugi-sama?"

"What is it?"

"Look Yugi, I'm gonna be back in a few minutes. You…you stay here by the car, okay?

_(Three minutes later…) _

Well, the bathrooms here aren't that bad after all. From where I come from, public bathrooms are horrible.

I finally made it back to the parking lot. Reaching into my pocket, I got my car keys…

Eh…er…-starts patting pockets- Car keys…car keys…CAR KEYS! Where the hell are my car keys?

vroom vroom-

Oh no…that doesn't sound good. I look up and see a familiar black BMW zooming off. Oh shit! Yugi's got..

…Wait…why am I still standing here.

Looks around desperately-

Ah, I see Bandit Keith. But without my millennium items, I'm powerless.

Wait a minute…this is a time for Shadi!

Inspector Gadget music starts playing-

NO INSPECTOR GADGET MUSIC! The same goes for Batman and Sailor Moon!

Oh what the hell… "Hey Bandit Keith!"

The ego maniac finally looks up at me, giving me a sneering look. Bah! Who cares? I give that look to Yami all the time.

"What do you want?"

No time for questions blondie! "Can I borrow your bike?" I then proceeded to same to shove Bandit Keith off and started up the engine. "Thanks!"

"Hey wait!" Bandit Keith raised his fist in the air.

_Wahahahaha_. Not time for you crack head. I start speeding after Yugi right on his tail. This madness must stop!

We're almost home. And Yugi's going over 90. The kid's evil I tell you!"

"But Yugi's suck a sweet kid." Yami and Anzu's words rang in my head. _Sure, when he's around you two. But every time you pin me alone with this creep, he's not so innocent!_

Suddenly, I hear a huge crash. Slamming on the brakes, I came across a not so good scene. The BMW had crashed into a pine tree right outside the house.

O.O Yugi-sama!

I hop off the motorcycle and ran towards the BMW. Quickly, I open the door and dragged out an unconscious Yugi.

slapping his face- "Yugi-sama, are you all right?"

"SHADI!"

sigh- The roaring voice rings in my ears. I looked up and came face to face with Satan himself.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY CAR?"

"But my pharaoh…"

(End of Flashback)

sigh-

At least this time I'm driving. -Takes out car keys and opens the Honda- "Hop in Yugi."

"Woo-Hoo!" Yugi starts to hop in the front seat.

I am so not looking forward to this day. If Yami no Marik just kicked the pharaoh's ass during the duel, he'd give the evil boy a nice whipping.

"SHADI!" Yugi wails.

You runt! You just ruined my dramatic tension! Okay, think happy thoughts…happy thoughts…like birds, sunshine…

…sending Yugi straight to hell and end my problems -laughs-

I jam my key into the ignition and started up the engine. -takes out a road map- All right…Malik's house is just two blocks away…Hmmm…

"Shadi, what's the hold up?"

"All right Yugi-sama." I back up the car out of the garage and into the driveway. Thank you Ra for making Malik's house a two minute drive. Any sacrifice you want me to make tonight and I'll do it.

"We're here!" I parked the car beside the sidewalk in front of a small cottage. Yugi immediately jumped out of the car, screaming Malik's name.

"MalikMalikMalikMalikMalikMalik!" Yugi screamed his friend's name over and over, busting through their door.

The evil has reunited, no doubt about that. I proceeded to run after Yugi and into the house, seeing Malik and Yugi jumping up and down like little kids.

Rishid approached me, his face a little red. "You had to bring him here?"

"It gets even worse. Yami made Yugi pharaoh while he's gone."

"This is serious indeed." Rishid leaned against the wall.

"Come on Yugi," Malik took Yugi by the hand. "Let's go play in Ishizu's room."

"Let's go!" Yugi tagged along.

I saw Rishid's eyes widened with fear. "What's going on Rishid?"

But Rishid was already on the run. In no time, he was blocking the door to Ishizu's room.

"Malik-sama." Rishid was breathing heavily. "Malik-sama, let's not bother Ishizu while she's getting her beauty sleep. You know how much she doesn't like that."

"But we wanna go play in there." Malik protested.

"Listen to my main man Rishid!" Yugi stomped on Rishid's foot as hard as he could, causing him to scream in pain.

Seconds later, the sounds of horrific screams came about.

"CHILD MOLESTOR!" Malik shouted at the top of his lungs.

Being daring, I decided to get a sneak peek.

O.O

HOLY CRIPES, NO WONDER MALIK'S FREAKING OUT! There was Ishizu in the nude with an inflatable doll. Oh Ra, I'm trying to not laugh so hard at this! Ra knows Ishizu would kick anyone's ass.

"Malik Ishtar! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ishizu glared at her little brother, her blanket covering most of her body.

"I should ask you the same thing!" Malik glared at her sister.

"So sorry about this Miss Ishizu." Rishid's face flushed,dragging the two kids out of her room before slamming the door shut.

I don't know whose day is worse in every possible way: Mine's or Shadi's. Smirking to myself, I looked down at Malik. "How long has this been going on with Ishizu?"

"I heard that Shadi!" Ishizu yelled from the closed door. "Don't make me come over there!"

_Yeah, like you can actually do that_.

"I don't know." Malik frowned. "I was wondering what were those strange noises coming from her room recently. Hey Shadi?"

"Er…yes?"

"Could you tell me about the birds and bees?"

O.O

"Er…Malik…shouldn't you go ask Rishid those kind of questions?"

"Well, every time I do, he always has some excuse that he has to go run an errand."

I look up at Rishid to seek the answer…

…Huh?

…Hey wait a minute, he's gone! Just wanted me to do your dirty work huh?

"Well….uh…Malik…this is the type of thing we should discuss in your room."

"You know where babies come from?" Yugi stared at me wide-eyed. "And don't tell me the stork happened to drop by. I'm not that stupid!"

Apparently you are.

(-)

To be continued.


	3. Where Exactly Babies Come From?

****

Where Exactly Do Babies Come From:

"C'mon Malik." I headed up the stairs…

…which is usually messy. Damn it, does he ever clean it? I rummaged through his toy chest finding that he had a lot of plush toys of duel monsters. Tossing a few of the plushies aside such as the Winged Dragon of Ra and Obelisk, I took out the Dark Magician and…

Looking for any girlish plushies-

…um…

_Three minutes later…_

Ah-hah. I took out a Mystical Elf plushie. Squeezing it, I heard a loud squeak.

…A plushie squeezie? -Continuously squeezes the Mystical Elf-

"Shadi! What's taking so long?" I heard Yugi screaming. _Ah screw you!_ I took out both plushies and sat on Malik's bed with each plushie in hand.

"Now," I put a fake smile. "Let's talk about where babies come from. First off, you need a man and a woman. Now, in order for them to make babies, these two start off by dating." And at that point, I have become overly obsessed with squeezing these dolls.

"Oh come on." Malik crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes back.

I stopped squeezing, putting the dolls on my lap, staring intently at Malik. "Er…yes?"

"What does this have to do where babies come from. And why does the Mystical Elf have to go with the Dark Magician. He sucks!"

"They match!" Yugi whirled his gaze towards Malik. "Give me one good reason why those two don't match."

"Well," Malik snubbed at Yugi. "If you as k me, I think the Earl of Demise goes better with the elf."

"You gotta be kidding!" Yugi glared at Malik. "Who are you gonna think of next? Dark Necrophear?"

"Hell yeah!" Malik raised his fist in the air. "At least he's better than who you would prefer. Pegasus…"

"At least he's human!" Yugi ranted.

"Or Bandit Keith!" Malik shot back.

O.O?

"At least he's a real man!" Yugi stood up.

"You want a piece of me?" Malik took out his millennium rod. "You're on!"

"I'll send you straight to hell, that's for sure!" Yugi's millennium puzzle began to glow.

"Not if I send you there first!" The millennium rod began to glow as well.

Well, at least someone is gonna die tonight. -smirks- It's about time too. But then again, I'll be the victim of a thousand deaths.

"ANYWAY!" I said at the top of my lungs. The two looked at me with curious eyes. Well, that certainly shut them up. "Right after a few dates, when they feel like it, they get it on."

"Get it on?" Malik and Yugi gave me the strangest looks.

O.O! Please do not tell me that these two don't know what the hell "getting it on" means! Yami no Marik, you must be enjoying what's going on huh? How much torture am I supposed to take?

"That means they have sex, all right? SEX! S-e-x!" I want this to end if it's the last thing I'm gonna do.

"Oh…" Yugi and Malik were amazed, perhaps at my definition of what "getting it on" finally meant.

"Um…" Malik looked up at me innocently.

"Yes Malik?" I twitched slightly, trying to not crack my sanity.

"What is sex?'

Jesus, Mary and Ra! Didn't tomb keepers learn what sex is back in frickin Egypt? Oh yeah…that's right. After the initiation, Malik went nuts, Yami no Marik came out, bonked his father with the millennium rod and send that bastard straight to hell.

Maybe the midget Yugi knows. "Ask Yugi."

"Shadi, I want to know as much as Malik does."

Ra, I wish I was dead right now. I swear, if only Yami surrendered to Yami no Marik, I don't have to go through this.

"Ever seen a polymerization card?" I gave the Mystical Elf another squeeze.

"Yes." They replied in unison.

"So that's…" Yugi started to say.

"Yes."

"And they begin by…" Malik started to ask.

"Yes, yes!" I cried, hopefully this shut them up once and for all.

"But what does this have to do with where babies come from?" Yugi crossed his arms over his chest.

_Brat! Ask that whore you call Yami yourself. Ugh, forget it Shadi. Yugi's pharaoh for Ra knows how long._ "Well, after the sex part, the Mystical Elf becomes pregnant. And incase you still want to know, her stomach becomes big and she has to wait for nine months." Leave Ishizu to explain how that goes when she's not "busy".

"But how can you fit a baby inside a woman's stomach?' Malik started to rant. "Would it really fit? How can the baby come out of the stomach?"

Er…someone help me.

(-)

To Be Continued.


	4. Therapy Visit

****

Therapy Visit:

Day two of Yami's absence. While I love it, I absolutely detest it at the same time. Sure, it's great when Yami's gone but it's worse when you're stuck with the most evil being created on earth.

Today, I'm seeing a therapist. Yeah, that's right, a therapist. It's not that I'm crazy, it's the fact that a person like Yugi actually exists. Yami and Anzu thinks he's just a sweet kid and that I'm just hallucinating whenever I see the mentality of his evil, evil plot.

How does Rishid live through this? Malik's what…almost the same age as Yugi. It's not as if he was possessed by the rod now is he?

Looks at watch- 10:30 And my appointment with Dr. Mai is at 11...

"Yugi, are you ready yet?"

"Coming!" And at that, Yugi raced down the stairs, wearing his usual clothes that he wore during the Battle City Finals. I never wanted to bring Yugi along. Really. But if I leave him here, by the time I come back, the house will be in ruins. We got in the car, me driving of course. Backing up from the garage, we got out of the neighborhood in silence.

"Shadi?" Yugi looked up at me.

_Look you brat, I already told you where babies come from. Isn't that enough?_ "Yes?"

"Where are we going?" He then looked out the window.

"Uh…I need to see a special friend of mine." I steered to the parking lot, finding a parking stall. We both got out of the car and made our way inside the building room into the waiting room.

"Look Yugi," I said in a low voice. "I don't want you to do anything that will get you in trouble, all right?"

Yugi nodded as he took a seat in the waiting room, reading a magazine. Why do I have a feeling that something was bound to go wrong. I sat right beside him, taking out the only magazine left in the waiting room.

(Sigh) Animerica. The issue: Sailor Moon vs. Dragon Ball Z. Didn't they have a hentai version of that? What was it called?

"Shadi," a slim lady emerged from her office, a clipboard in hand. She wore a short black skirt, nylon stockings, high heels, a black shirt covered by a purple vest. What's up with this outfit? She's usually in her white coat! Her blonde hair flowed down to her waist, pushing the rim of her glasses. "You're kinda early." She shifted her gaze towards Yugi. "Oh my, isn't this the pharaoh's friend?"

To this, Yugi looked up at Mai, smiling. "Me and Yami are like brothers. But he went on a business trip so he made me pharaoh."

"Really?" Mai's smile had yet to cease. "Well, me and Shadi are going to have a little chat, all right?"

"Are you going to make babies?" Yugi asked innocently.

I swear to Ra, I could feel my mouth drop open in shock. He didn't just say that, did he? Did he?

Mai's mouth dropped open at Yugi's question. However, her mouth curled to a grin before laughing. "Yugi, me and Shadi are just going to talk like how friends do. We're friends, me and him. Just wanted to catch up on some things." She turned to go back to her office and I followed. Right in front of a large glass window was a desk. Then there's that one side of the wall with all her diplomas, degrees, and Ph.D's. The other was a huge bookcase filled with books. Beside it was a filing cabinet, which I can only assume that's where she keeps all her records of her patients.

Of course, there was that cool, long sofa. You know, the ones all those psychiatric people have in their office? As usual, I laid back on it, stretched out my legs and kicked back, staring up at the ceiling. Mai pulled a chair beside me, a clipboard in hand. She crossed one leg over the other, staring down at me. Looking over her notes for a second, she arched an eyebrow at me.

"So," she tapped her pen on her knee a few times. "How have you been the last few days?"

Sigh-

"Mai, yesterday, I was hoping Anubis had finally taken my soul. I wanted to die of embarrassment. Literally!"

"All right Shadi, calm down and relax." Mai took down a few notes on her clipboard.

"Well, Yugi insisted that I take him over to Malik's house. All of a sudden, they wanted to know where babies come from. Why? I explained it to him and he still doesn't get it. He's evil, Mai. EVIL!"

"Have you been taking your Riddlin, Shadi?" Mai cocked her head to the side, giving me a suspicious look.

"Say what?"

"Shadi," Mai frowned. "Last time we met, I prescribed you for a bottle of Riddlin. It's not that you're crazy…"

"Oh, so you're saying I'm clinically insane?" Damn it! Is everyone mentally retarded except me? What is it with Japan these days?

"No!" Mai reached out for my hand in attempt to calm me down. "The Riddlin is just to keep you focused, a bit more stable when it comes to your anxiety with Yugi."

"Dr. Mai, you don't realize how many evil things he had done in only two weeks. He stole Yami's car and ran himself into a tree on the way home only to have the pharaoh breathing down my neck. Just the other day when I cleaned the floor, he walks all over the kitchen with muddy shoes without giving a damn! And yesterday, he and Malik walked in on Ishizu who was humping an inflatable doll…"

Mai tried to cover up a laugh but only pretending to cough. "A…an inflatable doll? Well…that sounds intriguing."

"And you don't have to let me tell you what just happened earlier."

All was silent as Mai jotted notes onto her paper. "You know what? I think, in order for me to find out what's causing Yugi's psychotic behavior, as you call, I think it's best if I talk to him. And a good thing too that he's here today. Now," she stood up. "Why don't you just wait in the waiting area."

I got off the chair and made my way out the door. I could hear the footsteps of Dr. Mai following from behind. As I entered the waiting room, I noticed that all was well. Nothing was destroyed and nobody was hurt. Good…good. My eyes shifted to Yugi who was reading a magazine.

Finally, something went right for a change.

However, my mood changed dramatically when I noticed what kind of magazine he was reading. Not your ordinary magazine indeed. This brat was reading Playboy!

Not good…not good at all Shadi.

Quickly, I snatched the magazine from Yugi's clutches, giving him the death glare. "You know you're not supposed to be looking at this!"

"Ugh!" Mai groaned, taking the magazine from my hand. "I keep telling Jounouchi and Honda not to leave these lying around. Bastards." she smiled at Yugi, patting his head. "Say Yugi, I know this is the first time we met and since I have a lot of time, I thought we should get to know each other. Is that all right?"

To this, Yugi nodded and slid off the chair, following Mai into her office. I sat back on the chair reading **The New York Times**. Dr. Mai really need to seriously get some new magazines. I mean, who cares what happened…

reads magazine-

August 24, 1971? Oh come on, that's thirty three years ago for Ra sakes.

Well…still better than reading Animerica.

(-)

"Well Yugi," Mai took a seat behind her desk, gesturing to the chair across from her. "Have a seat so we can begin."

Yugi took a seat on the chair, looking up at Mai curiously. "Begin what?"

Smiling, Mai reached for something in her drawer. "Oh, you know, getting to know one another. I thought we could be friends." She then held out a red box with pretzel sticks sticking out. "Pocky?"

Wordlessly, Yugi reached out and grabbed a few of the sticks, munching on one of them. "So what do you want to know about me?" he asked.

"Anything, really. I mean, tell me about yourself. Anything you want to share is fine with me."

"Well…um…" Yugi started on his second stick. "Even if, in a way, I'm related to Yami, I'm just like any other kid. Go to Domino High, play duel monsters with my friends. I have a friend named Malik Ishtar. You know him?"

Mai shook her head in reply. "Can't say that I do. So you duel, huh? You must be pretty good."

"In a way." Yugi smiled. "I don't duel as much as I used to during the Battle city Finals."

"Hmm…" Mai eyed Yugi for a moment or two. "What do you think of Shadi? I mean, all I know about him is that he comes to work as a servant for Yami."

"I guess you can say that. He does practically everything from cooking to cleaning to even end up being my nanny. I mean, hell, that's a woman's job."

"I'm a doctor." Mai defended herself. "Well, actually a psychiatrist. But people consider it as a man's job."

Yugi twiddled his thumbs, staring at Mai. "Is Shadi crazy?"

Mai chuckled at his question. "Yugi, you're friend Shadi is not crazy. As I told you, we're just friends. We have been for quite some time. It's just that he gets stressed out at times from his job."

After twenty minutes of talking and playing Monopoly, Yugi finally emerged from Mai's office with a box of Pocky in his hand, munching on a pocky stick. "See you in the car Shadi." he then skipped out of the waiting area and to the elevator.

Mai approached me with a look of confusion etched on her face. A creepy feeling crawled in my stomach.

"Shadi," she wrote something on a slip of paper. "Yugi, when we talked, well…"

I sensed something wrong must have happened while he was in there. "What happened?"

"I think Anzu and Yami are right." Mai grinned. "Yugi really is a sweet kid. Full of curiosity though for someone his age."

O.O! You can't be serious! You're telling me that being you call Yugi is sweet? There is no way…

"Here Shadi," Mai's voice broke my train of thought, handing me a prescription slip. "Please go to the pharmacy and get the Riddlin. If you don't take some, you could get an anxiety attack."

All of a sudden, my cel phone rang. Reaching into my pocket, I answered it. "Hello?"

"Shadi?" Rishid's voiced tensed on the other line. "You better get to Yugi's house, quick!"

"What's going on?" by the sound of his voice, I could say all hell was breaking loose.

"Get over here, pronto! Yugi's house is being destroyed!"

Rishid, if this is your idea of a prank call, I'm gonna wrap my fingers around your neck…"

"Shadi, it's about Anzu!" Rishid was in a state of panic. "I swear, she has that thing again. You know, the time of the month?"

O.O!

I quickly shut off my phone and ran out of the building. Yugi was leaning against the car, as if waiting for me. In desperation, I tossed him inside the car and slide onto the driver's seat, starting it up.

"What the hell is wrong with you Shadi!" Yugi was raging, simply because I tossed him in the car like yesterday's garbage.

I jammed my key into the ignition and sped out of the parking lot. Going beyond the speed limit, I reached the house in no time. We both got out of the car and raced into the house. As soon as we reached there, my mouth dropped open in shock.

"Oh Ra…"

(-)

How do you like it so far. Please read, review, and enjoy! To be Continued!


	5. The After Effects of Disney Movies

(Once again, I'm not trying to rip off from Fox's story. There are similarities but everything else is from my own head. Are…are we all clear on that?)

**The After-Horrors of Disney Movies**

Quickly shutting off my phone, I ran out of the building. Yugi had already arrived in the parking lot, leaning against the car. In desperation, I tossed him in the car and slid inside the driver's seat, starting up the car.

"What the hell is wrong with you Shadi?" Yugi was raging simply because I tossed him in the car like yesterdays garbage.

I jammed the car key in to the ignition and sped out. Going beyond the speed limit, I recalled the last time I was caught in the midst of Anzu's time of the month…

(Flashback to last month)

I was still sleeping in the morning hours when I heard a loud scream and a huge thump upon the ceiling. Yami was shaking me awake, screaming something about Yugi.

"Shadi wake up!" Yami screamed in my ear. "Yugi is in a lot of trouble. It seems that Anzu is on her time of the month and now she's holding Yugi hostage! You've got to help me!"

Damn it pharaoh, why should I waste my time trying to save that twerp? He finally got what's coming to him. I don't want any part of this. But of course, I pretend that I'm still sleeping, pulling the covers over my head. Then came the next worst thing to ever exist.

"Have you ever hear the wolf cry to the blue horn moon?" Anzu was singing…no screaming actually. "Or ask the grinning bobcat while he grinned?"

Pinning my hands to my ears, I finally got up. Anzu, no offense, you just suck in singing, period. Fine, I'll go save Yugi but not because I want to save him. Anything for Anzu to shutup and go home will be fine. I made my way outside the house to see Anzu carrying Yugi on the roof.

"Can you paint with all the colors in the wind?" She then proceeded to toss Yugi off the roof, causing Yugi to crash land headfirst on me.

(End of flashback)

Of course, this wasn't the first time Anzu pulled off something like that. There was that time when she reenacted the Lion King, sang "The Circle of Life" and was about to throw Malik and Yugi off of the roof. And that should have happened but no…I was called like a freaking savior and had to convince Anzu to not hurl those two.

Poor Anzu. Every time the PMS kicks in, she does the unthinkable. I guess it's because when she used to baby-sit Yugi, she had to submit to watching Disney movies. Why I decided to leave Egypt for this is something I'm still trying to seek the answer to.

Cautiously, I opened the door. Yami isn't going to like this but hell, he should get used to it by now seeing that Anzu trashes his house every other month and leaves me to clean the mess. But surprisingly, the house was empty. Although things like windows, walls, and furniture were victimized, all the other furniture was okay. What Anzu is up to, however, was something to consider.

All of a sudden, Anzu came sliding down on the railing wearing a long black dress and a matching black hat. In her hand is one of the ugliest umbrellas I have ever seen with pictures of Pokemon on them. Wait a minute…this kind of looks familiar.

"Hey Shadi," Yugi peeked in. "What's wrong with Anzu?"

"I don't even want to know." I replied.

"For a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down," she hollered, swinging the umbrella violently. "The medicine go down, medicine go down." She tried to snap her fingers wildly. "For a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down…"

Ho boy, she must've thought she could clean everything up in a snap. Sorry Anzu, I would like to help you make your little fantasies become reality but unfortunately, the so-called pharaoh known as Yami confiscated my key.

"In the most delightful way!" She hurled her umbrella towards our direction. Ducking, I yanked Yugi onto the floor in hopes of avoiding him being another statistic in Anzu's sudden attack. Unfortunately, Rishid wasn't so lucky as the umbrella smacked him right on the forehead.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious!" Anzu sang in a tone-deaf sort of way. Damn it! I can't stand her singing for the love of Ra! I'm sure Simon from American Idol would agree with me on this one.

"Even if the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough…supercalifraglisticexpialadocious!" Snapping her fingers, she then opened her umbrella, dashed towards the window literally breaking through and jumped out. All was silent in the house. Rishid was knocked unconscious by the umbrella of death. Yugi and I just stood there at the half-cleaned room.

"She's coming back, isn't she?" Yugi stood there, dazed.

"More likely she will." Taking Yugi by the hand, we both slowly backed up. "We should head for the store."

"For what?" Yugi gave me a strange look.

Ra damn it! What do I look like, the answer man? "Well, if we want to save Anzu, we need to get her some medicine. That way, she can kill that evil being inside her that makes her go crazy."

"And what kind of medicine does Anzu need?"

Ho boy…what kind of medicine does that woman need? Midol? Pepto Bismal? Advil? Robotussion? See what happens when I don't know much on women's health. Might as well get her a pad. Or a maybe a tampon, those are pretty cheap.

"You won't get it if I tell you." I opened the door. "Now come on, let's get to Wal-Mart."


End file.
